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| (txtr1) : | ust got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were "my bad" |
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| (txtr1) : | Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. |
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| (txtr1) : | OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy. |
| (txtr2) : | Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots. | |
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| (txtr1) : | Was it cool? |
| (txtr2) : | About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon. | |
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| (txtr1) : | My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth. |
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| (txtr1) : | i just flicked off an old lady, she thought i was driving too fast and shook her finger at me while standing in front of my car, i dont know what came over me i just flicked her off and drove round her. |
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| (txtr1) : | i wana be a ninja and grow old with you, we could be partners in our ninjaness |
| (txtr2) : | MARRY ME NOW | |
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| (txtr1) : | Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician? |
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| (txtr1) : | FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night |
| (txtr2) : | haha good one..how did you even know? | | (txtr1) : | we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck. | |
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| (txtr1) : | dude are you shitting yourself too now the find your facebook stalker application came out? |
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| (txtr1) : | This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca. |
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| (txtr1) : | will your mum be there? |
| (txtr2) : | yeah why? | | (txtr1) : | ill be there in ten, just gota pick up some basics from a gas station or something | | (txtr2) : | screw you, your not welcome here anymore | |
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| (txtr1) : | turns out she did know my girlfriend |
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| (txtr1) : | Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina.. |
| (txtr2) : | With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there. | |
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| (txtr1) : | how can i dump him terminatedly without constant texts afterwards |
| (txtr2) : | two words, "IM GAY". | |
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