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| (txtr1) : | tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too. |
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| (txtr1) : | i woke up butt naked, with a dead cow next to me!! Man i must have fucked her hard last night |
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| (txtr1) : | i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there |
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| (txtr1) : | sorry im busy today cant come over |
| (txtr2) : | we are looking at photos of the tranny joe accidentally kissed last night | | (txtr1) : | be there in five | |
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| (txtr1) : | I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that? |
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| (txtr1) : | we are at Homebase looking for men |
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| (txtr1) : | i dont know whats so great about being respectable. |
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| (txtr1) : | just because im blond doesnt mean im stupid. |
| (txtr2) : | blonde | |
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| (txtr1) : | I think we need to take a brake |
| (txtr2) : | yeah, please go back to school on your way to a new life | |
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| (txtr1) : | dad you should be nice to me, i will be choosing your house when your old |
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| (txtr1) : | I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. |
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| (txtr1) : | I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. |
| (txtr2) : | you are fired | |
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| (txtr1) : | I had amnesia once - maybe twice. |
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| (txtr1) : | A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend |
| (txtr2) : | u at ikea again? | |
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| (txtr1) : | If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public. |
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