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| (txtr1) : | she dumped me, because she looked at staceys house on google live maps and saw my stupidly distinctive scratched car outside it, the photos were taken at the time we were going out. |
| (txtr2) : | dude this is good for you. now you know she is a psycho AND you can sue google | |
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| (txtr1) : | i'd do olly from xfactor |
| (txtr2) : | but would you do louie walsh in order if you had to, to do olly? | | (txtr2) : | you so would. kapoww! | |
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| (txtr1) : | I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought... |
| (txtr2) : | You at least unplugged it right? | |
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| (txtr1) : | i said sorry baby what else can i do |
| (txtr2) : | give me 100 "anytime blowjob" vouchers | |
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| (txtr1) : | you cant call that sex, it was awkward naked fondling |
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| (txtr1) : | drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked. |
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| (txtr1) : | You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more. |
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| (txtr1) : | Sex is like Nike, just do it. |
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| (txtr1) : | I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number? |
| (txtr2) : | village bicycle hehe x | |
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| (txtr1) : | is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero? |
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| (txtr1) : | The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? |
| (txtr2) : | Yes. For all mankind please do. | |
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| (txtr1) : | youre cute it a messed up serial killer kind of way |
| (txtr2) : | oh | |
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| (txtr1) : | Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation. |
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| (txtr1) : | love your enemies, it really pisses them off |
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| (txtr1) : | But still, shouldnt have sex. I heard it kills you. Dont want to die do you? Do you?! |
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